Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he stated.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's shock or maybe I handle situations in another way, and after I have the information, it's simpler," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the condition, a set of scans showed nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't feel ill. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a bit of muscle loss in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I remain competent to performing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is possible."
Condition Development
MND can advance quickly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the disease kills a one-third of people within a year and above half within two years of diagnosis, as swallowing and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard decline.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody stated the emphasis was remaining in the present.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be very strongly focused on just embracing and appreciating each moment now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly fortunate that the only real decision I made when I left playing was to spend as much time with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Player Connection
Top-level competitors are disproportionately influenced by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to 600% greater than in the wider community.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 accessible and creating injury to motor neurone cells, regular, intense physical activity can trigger the illness in those already predisposed.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his brave, persistent approach to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a training equipment and began engaging in collisions.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the set piece in the decisive phase of play, creating a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop kick.
Assistance System
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his condition, but the rest will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the present, just having that kind of love and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he said.
"The sport is such a wonderful community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your love your profession, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the teams that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will want to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
